I have always been fascinated by why some congregations grow and thrive while others decline and struggle. I have read any number of studies on the subject.
Lately I have noticed something that healthy congregations have in common, something that I don’t see talked about much in the literature or in workshops on membership. It is almost too obvious to notice. Thriving congregations have a lot of fun.
With dog puppet “Theodore Barker” in UU Church of Bloomington, IN, a 2009 Breakthrough Congregation
Fun? Yes, fun. Yes, our finest congregations (of whatever size) have great worship, a terrific religious education program, good music. Yes, they are engaged in public witness and work for justice. And yes, they have small group ministries and good governance. All of these things are important. And so is having fun.
I know, “fun” does not sound very religious or spiritual or deep or profound. Religion, after all, is about life’s big questions, about our ultimate commitments.
Yet as I attend congregations that have been named a Breakthrough Congregation or are known in their region as healthy, I always hear laughter. In fact, these congregations typically have a “silly” edge, a playful childlike quality. It isn’t that they don’t take their ministries seriously, for they do. But they don’t take themselves seriously.
Fall Family Retreat with members of Jefferson Unitarian Church, Golden, CO
The key is that our best communities are places where people love being together, where they form deep friendships. Spiritual friends share from their hearts, they work together, and they play together.
The best churches I know make time for fellowship. They create spaces for picnics, stewardship musicals, family outings, and lots and lots of informal gatherings.
Think about it. Is your congregation having enough fun? If not, get busy playing.
I hereby issue a powerless presidential edict: Lighten up. That’s an order. 
7 comments
Chris says:
February 23, 2012 at 11:47 am (UTC -4 )
A former graduate student in my department (University of Washington department of sociology) did his dissertation on what makes a church flourish or not. The short answer is rituals and emotional connections (or what you describe as fun).
I don’t think he’s published it, but he should. His name is Jason Wollschleger, he’s a professor now in Spokane.
http://www.whitworth.edu/academic/faculty/index.aspx?username=jwollschleger
Katie Covey, DRE says:
February 23, 2012 at 12:31 pm (UTC -4 )
Sir, yessir! I LOVE that you captured my favorite quality of our faith! BTW, I use a full sized Goose puppet named Guinevere as my foil, so I really enjoyed seeing “Theo. Barker.” Guinevere (don’t tell her she is a puppet!) has had her picture taken with two presidents – John Buehrens and Bill Sinkford, so she issues an invitation to you next time you come home to Colorado. She, unfortunately, gets mixed up and thinks that the President of the USA is visiting, and we have to let her know it is the President of the UUA, and describe what that is.
Liz Hill says:
February 23, 2012 at 4:37 pm (UTC -4 )
Amen! And in my experience, you can tell the minute you walk into a congregation whether or not the people in the pews actually LIKE each other. If they don’t, the best attempts at welcoming fall flat. When I look around at coffee hour at UU Youngstown, the place feels alive with people who want to be together. Doesn’t mean we always get along perfectly or have no conflict. But we know how to laugh.
Elizabeth J. Barrett says:
February 23, 2012 at 6:36 pm (UTC -4 )
I’m all about having fun — singing in a chorus, leading a neighborhood group, rummage sale, LGBT-friendly dances, Cabaret. We have some very serious members, but a sense of fun permeates the congregation, IMHO. First Unitarian of Madison WI.
Jenny says:
March 5, 2012 at 7:49 am (UTC -4 )
I’ve been struggling with this same issue. I have no seride to belong to a church . But I am looking for a community to be part of. I also have outspoken kids, and I want to provide an opportunity for them have a peer group where they can be comfortable without having to shut up about what they think. After checking out several groups in our area, a local UU congregation seems to be the best fit for all of this. I’ve signed up to teach 6th graders, and my 7th grader’s class will be studying other religions and making field trips. There’s a Science and Reason forum, and lots of interesting people to talk to. Recent sermons were on Freud and Jung. Yet, I don’t know that I can ever be a member there. There are too many details that rub me the wrong way. Too much acceptance of woo . Too much emphasis on worship and spirituality , neither of which do I want anything to do with. I’m an atheist. UU suits my purposes for right now, but I don’t think I will ever be a UU.
Reny says:
April 10, 2012 at 12:50 am (UTC -4 )
From a growth iscepertpve,a0 I think figuring out how to cultivate (not control) a larger Unitarian Universalist movement is critical.a0a0 Often I hear people using the words movement and religion interchangeably.a0 They are very different. A few thoughts on that in older post Is Unitarian Universalism a Religion or aa0Movement?
Yewtree says:
February 27, 2012 at 5:14 am (UTC -4 )
One of the several reasons I became a Unitarian was the number of UU jokes on the internet – I figured, if this lot know how to laugh at themselves, they must be alright.
My favourite UU joke is the one about why we’re so bad at singing hymns – because we’re always looking two lines ahead to see if we agree with the words. I do that, so I knew I must be a Unitarian.